MORNING BLUES

I start my day by getting up at half past seven... Those of you who get up at noon and call that their 'morning', I truly envy you guys. For those who are undoubtedly confused, I may articulate myself by saying that, the exact time as to when I should get up, rests completely in the paws of my much loved dog. His early morning "coos" and deliberate yelps successfully wake me up and I reluctantly stagger towards my bedroom door so as to free my dog from the boundaries of my petite room. Yes, that is exactly how I begin my day, period. Anyhow, moving along... today I went out and got baked under the scorching sun (err, I went out for some personal work by the way, n' no, I don't do this for fun)... I came back and then religiously turned on my computer to listen to music. Music is my only escape from the monotony in my life n' I simply adore it! (yeah, I know this sounds cliched) Well, my life isn't as boring as I may put it.... But then again, define boring? Anyway, I just realized that I may be 'boring' quite a few of you with my incoherent use of sentences. So basically, I should now stop my fingers from typing any further. Thanks for reading my thoughts and you can now carry on leading your complacent lives....
P.S. Those who don't like sarcasm....Well, too bad! I really couldn't care what you didn't like anyway. Happy reading! :D

(c) RADHIKA IYENGAR 2006

VOCAB

New phrases have been introduced into our vocabulary... Phrases like, 'funny shit', 'shit happens' etc... I just don't get it though.. I mean, how can shit 'happen'? And even if it does, whats so great about that anyway?!? Seriously... What is up with our language? With our way of communicating? I mean, I myself greet my friends by calling them names which, if my mom would hear, would leave her mouth open in utter astonishment for quite some time. But still.. Think about it... Isn't it weird how our sentences are almost all the time punctuated with profanities and vague abuses... Who would have known that a certain finger of the human hand would become an integral part of ahem, human 'communication' shall I say?

Hands... Ah, the creative mind can think of so many different ways of making use of them... from polite gestures to immature, debasing hand movements; hands have done it all. It's just amusing to notice how verbal thrashing has been replaced with uncouth hand gestures. Not that I'm saying that I don't behave like an average teenager or that I have never committed the 'sin' of affectionate abusing... I have.. But the fact of the matter still remains that our vocabulary is continuously being influenced and dominated by several words and phrases completely uncalled for.

FUCK... I'm sure most of you were almost certain I would bring this word up... From the age of twelve {maybe younger} many kids discover the existence of this word. Now, the actual meaning of it may not matter, but the deliberate continuous use of it does.

Fuck! I've lost my pen!
What the fuck are you talking about??
Are you fucking kidding me??

Seriously, we have got so used to using this term that it's impossible to let go of it! God knows who invented this word, but if this individual had a face, teenagers would worship him! okay, maybe not... but you get the basic picture, don't you?

(c) RADHIKA IYENGAR 2006

My friends and I decided to go out after college-since we got tremendously bored in class and desired to do sumthing fun... Now picture this, four people in one auto! yep, not a very pretty sight... Even the auto walla, instead of looking at the road, kept on looking at us through his rear view mirror!
Now its completely understandable when foreigners stare in awe at completely jam-packed DTC buses or enthusiastically take pictures of more than two people sitting on bikes, but it was kind of embarassing to notice that a bunch of travelling firangs were nicely pointing fingers at us and nodding sympathetically as if they empathized with our situation!
Anyway, we reached Vasant Vihar Market in one piece and as soon as we get out, we were greeted with a 'Bomb Disposal Squad' Bus or a name something pretty close to that... Oh man, we were so scared... I was literally on the verge of getting into the auto again... but then again, the bus had come just for safety purposes, so my friends calmed me down, and off we were gallivanting into the market... After nearly half hour of contemplating where we should go for lunch, we settled on 'Yo China!' And I must say, there was nothing 'yo!' about it... it sucked... the food was served cold and to top it off, when we complained, the waiters were bloody rude! Haha, somebody wasn't going to get a tip today... so anyway, we had our totally non-delectable meal, had a few laughs, welcomed many frowns and got free fortune cookies... I had read somewhere, that if u read your fortune from a fortune cookie, make sure u end the sentence with 'in bed'.... it somehow adds a new meaning to it and turns out to be more fun... mine said-'It's your turn to be a good samaritan (in bed)'...hehe... for those who don't know what a 'good samaritan' means, it means 'a person who voluntarily offers help in times of trouble'.... GO FIGURE! Of course, I hope such an incident never arises :P.... Anyhow, after that, we guys went off to do some shopping-that was fun... couldn't catch a movie because the movie's time didn't suit us [dammit]... After that, I took a bus back home, and returned home with an splitting headache. When my dad opened the door for me, I was greeted with a huge lick on my face, courtesy-my dog, who was evidently extremely happy to see me... He followed me around like a little puppy after that... I turned on my computer, listened to music and here I am , writing yet another account of my life... so, how was your day?

(c) RADHIKA IYENGAR 2006

IT'S ALL ABOUT THE MONEY...

This is so weird, I can write an entire book on DTC bus rides! While some people may consider it 'dumb', I think its the best way to bring ur creativeness into being. The following is an account of what I come across during my journey in a DTC bus (which is now so popular on my blog) almost everyday...

1) The other day, while traveling, i saw a cycle-rickshaw upon which a mobile no. was written-'for service, call pappu on 98.....' Hahaha! I'm not kidding!

2) Whats even more hilarious is to look at cycle rickshaws which have 'CNG vehicle' symbol painted on their seats!

Now, there is one universal truth about auto-rickshaw walas... They act like they are our customers.... Most of us who have taken several autos in our life have to listen to the whims and fancies of the auto walas. If they don't feel like going to a particular place, they'll just drive off. No ifs, not buts, just drive! Okay, so maybe that was a sad one.
Their Favorite pastime: - Bargaining! Over time, I have learnt that if you want to pay a particular amount, say Rs. 100, then always tell them that by meter, it usually costs you Rs. 80... They by themselves will increase the amount to Rs. 100. So technically, though they might think that they've won the bargain, indirectly, it is you who has won it. However, if u tell them that u usually pay Rs. 100, they jack up 20 bucks extra and demand Rs. 120 out of ur purse!
Another tantrum u may come across is their, "Kindly madam, pay Rs. 15 extra since I will not get a customer on the way back" excuse. Also, if they agree to go by the meter, the idiots will purposely take you via the longest route possible to reach your destination.
Yes, smart-really smart. So the next time you think you have paid decently and that u have got 'value for money' just because you have traveled by meter, think again. Live and learn my friend, live and learn....

(c) RADHIKA IYENGAR 2006