May 23, 2007

LET US GO THEN YOU AND I

Sometimes, you just have to listen...


To the stillness between moments, to the rustling of leaves of yellow and brown twisting and twirling with the wind, anticipating rain, to the flapping of the wings in the sky-calling out to freedom. Listen... To the breathing of your body, to the ticking of time, to your feet caressing the grass beneath you while you walk alone in silence as darkness colours the blue of the sky...

Took my dog out for a walk in the evening... The Retriever leads me down the road, sniffing about, wagging his tail, perking his ears every now and then whenever a fellow canine scurries past.

I hum unconsciously as I walk. It's a beautiful road. A long stretch with tall, intimidating trees hugging it on either side, casting innocuous shadows onto the grey boulevard. The lamp posts stand nonchalantly at equal distances from the trees, creating small pools of light, illuminating the dreary road as far as their circumference allows. Fallen leaves lie scattered in dismay, they have their own stories to tell. The air is dry, lifeless, still.

The cicadas sting the air with their shrills: high-pitched, droning sounds that compete with silence, and win. My pace becomes slower, as my eyes search into the night, for beauty, life and celebration of it. The moths dance hypnotically under the lamp posts, their translucent wings slithering against each other, as the light seeps gracefully into their fine, muslin-like textures. Lost in trance, their movements explore the space, with definite and indefinite troughs and crests.

They are spell-bound to the magic the light renders. Drunk, as some may say. Lost, as lovers may say. Mystified, as the poets would say.


It begins to drizzle. I extend my hand out, wishing to embrace the moment, as few droplets parachute down. Then a few more descend. And then, some more.

My dog turns his head around to look at me, while he continues to walk. His eyes seem to question, as his tongue hangs out insipidly in thirst.
I smile.

"Lets go home, shall we?"

He wags his tail in response. We turn around, as the clouds resonate in anger, promising yet another thunder-storm. We keep walking, fearlessly like lovers, eventually disappearing into the night, leaving the
whispers of dead leaves behind to tell our story.

~~~

Genre: Fiction

26 comments:

The Cat said...

ah, you make us proud. :)

five_silver_rings said...

haha, so do thee! :D

Anonymous said...

Well, it is finally happening. Continue the journey, Radhika, unfaltering in your step and determined in your mind.

Anonymous said...

There is magic happening here.

still water said...

profound ...indeed profound ...yet u seem lost ...

five_silver_rings said...

haha, perhaps.

Who knows? I'm lost half of the time :P

Ashutosh Choudhary said...

experiencing contentment as a reader who also happens to think himself a writer.. reminiscent of 'one of those days' we all feel lucky to have lived but hardly ever remember/register.. good imagery, both audio and visual.. sprinkles of subjective expression highlight emotional depth.. crisp corelation excuted between 'creator and created' of the phenomenon - 'nature and conscience'.. good enough to make other writers feel the alarming pinch of jealousy..

Anonymous said...

Go forth, and conquer more brave new worlds fair maiden and her fearless golden steed! :P

Radz... this DOES NOT mean you gotta use your dog like a real steed and sit on it :p

five_silver_rings said...

alok mi love, trust me, I shall do all you ask and more :P

However yes, I shall take your advice on not imagining my dog to be my handsome steed :P

{I love the guy too much to actually put him through the misery!}

shifa said...

yep quite a peice of work gettin better and better in ur writing skills keep it up besides that i'll always be there to praise u and boost that confidence if it wavers (or maybe just keep sighing with absolute frustration telling u to fuck off till i get u a nicely decorated notebook for ur bday so that u can write rather than type!!!!!) lots of love shifa

five_silver_rings said...

My birthday is 2 months away woman! Do you intend on making me wait THAT long? sigh!

I demand the gift immediately! :P

Haha, love you, always.

Ashutosh Choudhary said...

' u stole the title from eliot ' .. else u should have written " by eliot " ... hehe... c how it feels... i was quoting you...sob!

Anonymous said...

A passerby...
Garage sale of images. You personify a lot – poetically sound; practically deplorable. You use a very limited amount of adverbs, which is good and admirable; avoid them totally and your writing will bloom, pun intended. Okay, please, sometimes you know for the sake of good imagery, we loose out on the lucidity of the thing –a ‘few droplets parachute down’; ‘parachute’ means to descend unnaturally slowly. Poetic sublimity is worth applauding but this is prose you’re writing, right?
Otherwise, it is good writing practice.
T.Jain

The Cat said...

radzie, looks like some anons begun with stalking us both. literary wise, ofcors.

interesting to see how this critique shall take form later awn.

(and im *still* reeling from the dasgupta shock from last night. SIIIIGGHHH. siggghhh. sigh. :P)

five_silver_rings said...

To Passerby {aka T.Jain}~

Garage sale of images??

Ahem. Okay, shall accept your critique gracefully, for work does require critiquing, positive or negative. Not to mention that you do have a knack for it indeed.

However, it is a pity that you are not aware of the novel fashion of writing where one tends to blend poetry with prose-its a beautiful art form celebrated by many writers such as Murakami and Klima or even Amitav Ghosh for that matter. Tagore.

Considering you're a writer, I suggest you should try it sometime.

Apart from that, yes, thank you. Did enjoy reading your comments.

P.S. Are you the 'mysterious' woman who has been commenting on my blog? {Remembering the Forgotten}. Do let me know. Curiosity isn't one of my best state of being :)

***

To Aaki~ Yes, Rana is a sweetheart, but honey, the man is married. However, I shall make you meet him in the near future! He is returning home this August.

aaki said...

He has an imagination, to be sure.

I do not remember what he writes like, I only remember I wasnt particularly impressed or anything, (as I was telling Pumpkin), but well, what the heck, I do remember what he looks like. :P

Sigh, Hazra also needed.

Signed, Fawner.

Anonymous said...

'Passerby aka T.Jain'
Haha. Riposte! Umm. Am no 'mysterious' woman. Ha!
No, not stalking anybody, if anything, my last visit here. Was 'asked' by a friend to comment; a mutual one. And did it in the grip of boredom. Nothing more. Short-lived stalking spree.
Oh come on - everybody knows about the whole poetry blending with prose doodah! Joyce (not Dubliners), Woolf, Conrad, Wyndham Lewis (takes the cake), and really, you don't need to dig as deep as Murakami or Klima or even Tagore... and no, Ghosh isn't justified. Debatable, I guess.
But yeah, what I commented on was the practicality of your piece, not its aesthetic appeal. You can't look at an overflowing gutter and go - 'volcanic emission of aqueous salts' just because it sounds nice. A cat on a mat is a cat on a mat. Okay, sorry, am kind of rambling... Apologies. Was just trying to be helpful. In all seriousness, try writing without 'the wind soughing in the trees' and the drops 'parachuting' down. Honestly, it'll be something else. Just suggesting. NOT a critique. More of a justification.
Toodle-oo.

five_silver_rings said...

'the wind soughing in the trees'??

Right. Your power to imagine and exaggerate is going a tee-bit out of hand. Believe me, sir, I did not write any of the sort, but I do get the point that you're trying to make.

I did not intend on 'fighting back', for like I mentioned earlier, I do accept critique/suggestions/advice. In fact, your critique is quite good. Critiquing is better than indifference.

Moreover, I do not believe that you're a stalker, nor do I wish to reduce you to such a level. Do keep visiting, for honestly, I would like it if you would comment on my posts.

Regards.

The Cat said...

Oh TJain, you know of Klima? Im impressed now. :)

Sawwie, Radzie. I get into raptures everytime someone knows of my man. :P

Anonymous said...

Umm. Okay, my absolutely last bit of interference. A little hesitant. Was just skimming through and my eyes kind of locked on to something and got stuck there. Not trying to impinge on anybody. Just a little query. Last petulant bit of stalking.
Rana Dasgupta? As in Rana 'Tokyo Cancelled' Dasgupta? As in Rana 'the guy who rehashed the Canterbury tales' Dasgupta? And you know him 'personally'?
Er... wow. Brief pause for speechlessness.
I'm grateful, really. You know one keeps wondering whether these people have any real mortality to talk of, being 'what' they are. Nagarkar, Chatterjee, Mistry, Ghosh, Dasgupta - Whether they spill on their shirts when they eat or pick their noses or breathe air. And then it's a pleasant surprise to know that Dasgupta has a wife, a family, lives, has legs to walk around on. Grateful. This sort of made my day. :).
Okay, started to sound like a suck-up now. Rather 'Fawner'. Haha. Tc. Cheerio.

ŬńĶñŌŵŃ-ũŞėŖ-123 said...

Wow, you really can write. I envy you. Your writing is emotive and captivating. Just, wow! Xxx

five_silver_rings said...

yes dear T.Jain, the very same Rana Dasgupta. We are in the same writer's group at BCL :)

jairaj said...

You're in the writer's circle, I don't have the courage to be a part of such a fancy affair. You write well, very well. :) But you've got my real name here love, will you replace it with Jerry? I mean I'm bit worried, I sometimes get into trouble as well. Thanks :).

five_silver_rings said...

Jerry,

Thank you.

*She bows*

*Makes the necessary changes half-heartedly*

*Finds labelling a writer's circle as a 'fancy affair' highly unfair and is thus curious to know as to why someone would have such a narrow-minded approach.* (No offence)

*She also confesses that she enjoys reading Jerry's blogs, believes that he is a good writer and feels that he is somewhere immensely influenced by Marlowe. However, she begs pardon if she is wrong in her assessment.*

Haha, no, I usually don’t write in third person... Just having some fun :)

Mithat Pasha said...

good stuff radzter

jairaj said...

cheers! (I used to know some of the lot in the circle.)